because i was made to believe that macs and moleskine notebooks go together, the day i got the clamshell, i also headed off to powerbooks to purchase a – gasp! – 1600-peso moleskine. that’s my second baby Nina, the moleskine. (if you were to go by the “real” pronunciation of moleskine, you’d find that it rhymes, sorta, with Nina.) anyway, still money well spent because i had soooo much fun with my high school friend.

and speaking of that lovely lady, she and i are both passionate about “The Secret”. she introduced me to it, actually. a year ago i’d have sneered at the concept (as most disbelievers have) but when i watched the dvd, i’m reminded of what i’ve been telling myself all along, but not completely going with. the fact that the people in the film stated them in their own words affirmed some observations/realizations in the past. and here’s something to ponder on: even if the people from “The Secret” didn’t say it, what’s wrong with thinking positively and believing in your own goodness? you don’t even have to refer to the Law of Attraction. just ask for what you want, believe you will get it and be open about receiving it.

in any case, it has helped me be aware of things i want to be thankful for every day. it has made me feel more confident about myself. i used to fake confidence a lot, and now, i’m coming to a place where it’s more genuine and heartfelt. while i still want things, i am not postponing living until i get what i want. the things that will make me happy are right here right now. whatever comes along is a new blessing.

yesterday, one of my wishes was dealt with a great blow. and i felt like my wish having been anchored on the wish of another person, that is bound to happen. i was very sad for a few minutes but quickly picked myself up and felt genuinely happy. i’m good as i am now. that doesn’t make me better than anyone else, but that makes me pretty damn good. i have family and friends who care about me. i have what i need. there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. and so, here i am, being what i have always been.

i did promise pics of my new ibook clamshell but some parts of the house are being repaired and it’s been messy for a while. but it looks exactly like the pics i posted earlier courtesy of the former owner.

i’ll see you in my new ibook clamshell!!! ciao!!!

conversations are important. conversations not about any particular thing. or just one thing. i want desultory conversations, and comfortable silences.

at the end of the day, we promise each other to talk some more tomorrow. make love, have fun. until we’re too old to remember what the first conversation was, while we remember looking at each other and thinking how lucky we both are for ourselves and each other.

oh yes, i noticed, too. uncharacteristically, er, sappy. hahaha. this is me. deal with it.

anyway, i’m writing to you.

i’m writing because there are some stuff you left with me, things that you cannot retrieve if you weren’t to take me as well. packaged deal. you’re all grown but what of that? if you were truly grown, than you wouldn’t mind showing off feet of clay, or whatever the hell they call it. (freewriting, eh? hahaha.) i know i’m not making sense but very few people do anyway, and the good thing about it is, sometimes, when you’re making the least sense, that’s when they’ll all look at you, oohhh and aahhh, and say, “oh, she’s so profound.” you know that, too, don’t you?

2. i have this beautiful desktop computer.

3. i have my family. i’m very lucky to have them.

4. i have a good house.

5. i have stuff, clothes, some cash, food. and if i don’t, i have family and friends who will help me out through the dearth.

6. i’m intelligent. i was able to go to school. the two (being intelligent and going to school) are not in the same league but i’m lucky to have both.

7. i have all my limbs intact.

8. i have a beautiful niece and a handsome nephew i’m so in love with.

9. i’m in love.

10. i have nice set of teeth.

and oh yeah…

11. i’m going to have 2 great ibooks — a tangerine and an indigo! woo-hoo!!!

in all likelihood, this beauty will soon belong to me, too. my conquest of old macs begins!!! bwahahahahaha!!!

p.s. and in all likelihood, hello, “broke”back mountain.

yeah, asking myself that, too. but clamshell first. i need to feed my inner OC.

LF: clamshell, or 12″ powerbook or ibook

good working condition for word processing and internet browsing, charged battery lasts at least an hour. budget of around 10k but willing to pay a bit more. i live in the province so i may have to ask the seller to trouble him/herself with shipping (i will shoulder the costs, of course) in case i’m unable to meet up.

let me know if you have something that fits the bill! thanks!

understand, this was before i bought the one on ebay. (i hope i never have to tell you to read and learn from my experience.)

and now, there are good offers from other mac users – 3 as of this posting.

(1) clamshell g3 366mhz 6g hd 192mb mem with airport 10t

(2) clamshell tangerine 300mhz,6GB, 288mb,panther… 7.5k only….

(3) I have a rare indigo (blue) clamshell for sale at 10K. 366 mhz with firewire. 192MB memory, 10GB hard drive. OS 10.3.9 and ms office 2004 installed. You can buy a cheap USB wifi dongle to get wireless internet. I can buy that and install it for you and i’ll just add the cost of the usb to the total.

i like #2 and #3. no wait, i like all of them. i like #1 because it has wi-fi capabilities; #2 because it has 288 mb and #3 because the seller seems sincere. and you know what’s worse? if i had waited a bit before buying on ebay, i would have my clamshell in a shorter time because these guys live maybe 2 to 3 hours away. there’ll be less risks.

i can afford them a bit, i guess. i found a way when i was still jobless and i’m sure i’ll find a way now. jeez… this has gotta stop. but when?

i know, i just know, i will buy one of these babies. told yah i’ll collect macs. (but i also want to buy a mac mini; shelved for now.)

i gotta… whatever. i confuse myself, too.

i bought and paid for this ibook clamshell that looks really beautiful. *sigh* it’s coming from the U.S. and i don’t know how long it’s gonna take to get to me. i hope it gets to me intact. oh man. every instinct tells me i shouldn’t have done it. it’s a great risk.

there, but for a tangerine ibook clamshell, go I.

i hope it does my writing life a lot of good.