Archive for miscellaneous
do you remember
that thing i said i won’t talk about again because i won’t buy one unless it’s brand-new? i found a new website which sells pre-owned and/or refurbished of their kind. and i think i should go offline immediately because i’m checking out my paypal credit cards. but i know i shouldn’t.
*poof*
and speaking of blogs.
this is my (hopefully) anonymous blog. i signed up for one at a networking site and it seems like i’m not talking to just myself. i know you think i’m being stupid for wanting to talk only to myself on an online journal. first, i’m referring to “you”. second, why publish? why not make it private?
like many, i want the security of anonymity, although many “experts” will tell you, you’re never that anonymous online. in any case, i’d like to wallow in my delusions that my cares are unique and that whatever pain or ecstasy i feel, i feel because i’m special. i don’t want to admit to the reality that many have tread this same path and more will follow. that makes me, what? a tiny speck?
so yeah, i want my delusions. i need my delusions. i need to be able to babble, rant, yak my heart out, thinking i’m the only one who’s up at 1:15 in the morning, desperately trying to become a new woman the next day. (wait a minute, it is the next day!) younger, more disciplined. richer. and most importantly, in love. i’ve always thought i’m way above needing a man, but i need the emotions, the orgasms. yeah, ok, great.
i’m officially dreaming.
who am i waiting for?
an inspiration? my muse? myself to grow up?
i need to get some sleep. (although i almost wrote “i need to get laid” which isn’t so far from the truth, too.)
distraction.
you sit on the keyboard and promise yourself you’re going to write if it kills you. but you make the mistake of acknowledging the presence of someone you know may truly exist in your world. and before long, you’re the one being twisted and turned. is it by sheer design that fate makes you unable to function when presented with one (surprisingly pleasant) blow after another? admittedly, you would rather really focus on the distraction, especially when it’s plated in a somewhat palatable image of XY chromosomes. but still. still. what of it? distractions are what i may end up writing about but i wouldn’t want to hold off on having fun just because i have something i “have” to do. and writing? it’s really about living, isn’t it? what is there to write about if i haven’t lived? (as i suspect i haven’t.)
again, plenty of excuses, so you know why i may die being a great potential. if only, if only. but i want to fall in love. i want so badly to fall in love. and i’m crazy like that.
Good morning!
Politicians are still corrupt. Civil servants are still inept. Mariah Carey still thinks she’s pretty. And Paris Hilton is still alive.
But it’s a new day and the world outside awaits.
New day
I don’t know what I’m saying obviously, but this is a new day. And having said that, I’m off to the real world. (That is, after I finish reading about Billy Drago whose face is just so remarkable. Except that, whenever I see him on films, his character is always a minor modification of his Charmed character, Barbas. Which means, mostly the same facial expressions. But I guess if that’s what you do best, that’s what you do best.)
And what do you know? I’m led to his son Darren E. Burrows, who looks so strikingly like him. And I’m sure that if I read on, I’ll be made curious about some other things. There’s nothing like the Internet to distract someone from pushing through with her resolve to be a more disciplined writer.
And oh gosh, no!!! That’s why his name is familiar! Darren E. Burrows played Ed Chigliak in Northern Exposure. I loved Northern Exposure!!! (Mostly because of John Corbett who was not hot in Sex and the City. But maybe that’s because the writers have always been partial to Big, who must never be overshadowed.) That’s why Billy Drago’s face looked familiar when I saw him in Charmed. It’s because I’ve already seen his spitting image of a son once upon a time.
Talk about distraction! What fun!
